Friendship

Have you ever found yourself in a sinking friendship? 

When I was 9 years old, my family moved to North Carolina, leaving behind all the friends I had ever known, including my best friend who lived just a few houses away. This new situation challenged me to make new friends, and it was difficult, to say the least. However, it also set me on a journey to learn and understand the essence of true friendship.

I truly believe that this move at such a young age changed my life. It opened the door to a world filled with new people. Ultimately, this journey led me to my husband and the family I have today, and for that, I am forever grateful.

I am convinced that there is a God, and my choice of whom to marry is the reason why. During my time on the college swim team, there were three boys who captured my affection. I dated one of them shortly after arriving at college. Although we had great chemistry, he often didn’t treat me like a friend when I saw him around campus. 

The following year, I started to develop feelings for my future husband, although we didn’t begin dating for another two and a half years. The third boy had asked me to a fraternity party as his date. I had a good time, but I didn’t want to create any obstacles that would prevent me from pursuing a relationship with my future husband.

During our senior year, on a bus trip to Princeton for a swim meet, my future husband and I started flirting. He was very down-to-earth and kind. He shared with me a painful experience from high school when he had walked in on his girlfriend with another guy. Seeing the hurt in his eyes made me realize that I would never want to inflict that kind of pain on him or anyone else. We dated, got engaged, and then married. He is my best friend and a truly Godly man with good morals and a positive outlook on life. I am eternally grateful for the gift of my husband, whom I could not have picked on my own.

My friendships with girls and women have been quite different. My first best friend after my move lasted until the end of eighth grade. We often found ourselves getting into trouble together. If we weren't caught, our actions left me feeling guilty. The summer before starting high school, I made a fake call to my parents to get out of a situation I didn't want to be in. After that night, we pretty much went our separate ways.

Throughout my life, I have been attracted to girls and women who turned out to be different from what I initially thought. This has led to painful breakups and the loss of friendships, even after years of emotional investment. Thankfully, God did show me what a true friend looks like with my best friend of almost 29 years. We have been there for each other through some pretty challenging times in life. We have also lived our lives apart from each other and then come back together. We have prayed together, studied the Bible together, and loved each other and each other's families. This is the kind of friend that only an amazing God could put in your life. He has also blessed me with more friends like this. 

For the past 5 years, I have been blessed to study the Bible with a group of women. They are truly gifts from God. These women have shown me what a group of friendships can be. We share our secrets and pray for one another, and love each other as Jesus would. I have never been in a group of women who have had this connection. God is among us.

God has warned us about the people we should be cautious of and avoid befriending. He has provided guidance for everyone willing to read and learn. He did not say it was up to us to change these people; He said to simply walk away from these people. He did this to protect us and out of love for all of us.

 “Their days are filled with all sorts of godless living, wicked schemes, greed, hatred, endless desire for more, murder, violence, deceit, and spitefulness. And, as if that were not enough, they are gossiping, ³⁰ slanderous, God-hating, rude, egotistical, smug people who are always coming up with even more dreadful ways to treat one another. They don’t listen to their parents; ³¹ they lack understanding and character. They are simple-minded, covenant-breaking, heartless, and unmerciful; 

they are not to be trusted.” -Romans 1: 29-31