Lesson Learned

Do people change?

Benda family who attended the wedding. Wedding party not present.

This is definitely a loaded question. The world is loaded with all types of people with all types of opinions, influences, and evil that face us when we least expect it. Yes, there is good, but not everyone chooses to be good. The world has a way of turning us from God, if we let it.

We must remember that good comes from God. It is also important to remember that evil comes in all shapes and sizes. How quickly we forget that it was a serpent who caused man to sin and fall from glory. Just as we have heard this story told over an over, the evil can become etched in our brain, from any life experience that is painful. It is so important to retrain our thoughts and learn to focus on the good that He has brought into this life. This is done by reading His word.

This past weekend, I was at a family wedding in an absolutely gorgeous surrounding in the mountains of North Carolina. Two of my Dad's brothers, their wives, their children and grandchildren were at the wedding. Interestingly, my Dad and his brothers are named after the apostles: Peter, Paul, John, and James. Family has always been very important to my Dad and Mom, so we grew up in close company with all of his family and my Mom's family too. As is evident in many families now, my Dad’s brothers and their children live in different states scattered across this vast country. It was a treat to be able to reconnect with so many of them over the festive weekend.

Throughout the weekend, we had several gatherings and opportunity to interact with family members old and new. At the first gathering, I was able to mingle and greet most of the family members, except my Uncle John. He is a large format man and loves to be in control. Needless to say, I have never had positive experiences with him. However, I was feeling guilty by the next gathering, so I greeted him and gave him a hug. After the ceremony, there was a time for mingling and a full bar was opened for all attendees. While standing with my cousin, John approached. He says to me upon approaching, "How many followers do you have?" I wasn't sure what he was referencing at first, as we were at a celebration of love. Quickly, I realized he was questioning me about this blog. He then proceeds to probe more, "Do you know how many followers you have? Don't you look at that and keep up with that?" I have learned from past experience not to share with individuals who are not supportive and of this self- seeking mindset. I told him, I didn't know and responded "no" to the second question in the line of questioning. He then proceeded to say that he doesn't follow me. He says he doesn't do any social media. He then remarked in a condescending manner, "What do you have like a few girlfriends following you?" Needless to say, I was put in an uncomfortable situation and felt attacked by someone who obviously doesn't support me.

The first memory I have with John was some 50 years ago, so I was 6, when he tattled on me to my Dad, which filled me with shame, hurt, and resulted in tears. This type of personality has always been a challenge to me. There are so many things I wish I could have said in the moment following the wedding, but my human nature kicked in, and I responded without looking at him directly and in a soft tone, "Wow, you are being an a--hole right now. And then I said with my self- protecting sarcastic voice and hand-gesture, "You are being all up in there." And then I said, "I have to go to the bathroom," directed at my cousin. After years of finding myself in similar circumstances with this relative, I was finally able to call him out for his behavior. The truth came out. The truth is not always spoken in this life, but the truth will come out in the next. It has been promised to us in His word, the Bible.

Reading the Bible this morning, I was reminded of the words of Paul, who prior to His encounter with God, was an evil man. It took Paul loosing his eye sight, and then experiencing the healing promise by God before he changed his ways. Paul played a huge role in the start of Christianity. He started the church and wrote much of the Bible. In Galatians 2: 19- 21, Paul wrote, "For I through the law died to the law that I might live to God. I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain."

In my family, I was taught to love all people. However, loving all people does not mean that I must sacrifice myself to include all people in my life. It is up to each and every one of us to separate ourselves from evil and harmful people in this world. Those individuals of the world who will attack, use, belittle, berate, undermine; are from the evil one and attempt to rob us of peace, love and steal our joy (our gifts from God).

The definition of undermine is: "1- erode the base or foundation, 2- lessen the effectiveness, power, or ability of, especially gradually or insidiously, 3- make or become less; to diminish." This is the goal of the evil one in this world. He longs for us to be conflicted. He longs for us to suffer. He longs for us to have to work harder to free our minds from the fog of harmful words spoken or evil attacks from the mouth of another individual. This is his M.O.

It is not in my character to call out someone who has harmed me, and it is not up to me to convict anyone. But it is naive to think that each of us can get away with disregarding the truth. God will convict.

This blog has revealed personal experiences that led me to believe, trust and have faith in God and Jesus, Our Savior. He saved me from a broken place and world. This blog has never been about recognition or number of followers. In all actuality, I am a very private person. My hope is that all individuals will find that same gift that I did, belief in Jesus. Each and every person has the ability to ask forgiveness for his or her wrong ways. If we do not ask in this lifetime, it is promised that we will face God and answer to Him when we die.

As was revealed through the transformation of the Apostle Paul, only God could change him from His evil ways of killing Jews and countless other offenses. We are not able to change others, only God can do that, but we can learn to protect ourselves. We have the right to choose who we associate with in this lifetime.

The rest of the wedding reception was spent celebrating and loving those who support and love me. Heaven has been compared to a wedding banquet with much celebrating. During our time at His wedding banquet, there will only be love, peace and joy in His presence. Only those He has invited will be allowed to attend.

Jesus spoke these words which are recorded in the Bible. "And if anyone hears My words and does not believe, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world. He who rejects Me, and does not receive My words, has that which judges him--- the word that I have spoken will judge him in the last days. For I have not spoken of my own authority; but the Father who sent Me gave Me a command, what I should say and what I should speak. And I know that His command is everlasting life. Therefore, whatever I speak, just as the Father has told Me, so I speak." -John 12:47- 50