Surrender

Do you believe that you are in control of your life?

What gift are you leaving for the next generation?

This question must follow each individual back to the very beginning. Did you spontaneously decide to arrive in the world? We all know that that was not in our control. Control is an ominous word and an ominous action. Yet, so many of us think we can control so much of what happens in our days and our lives. We are called to practice self-control.

The world teaches us to make plans: daily plans, five year plans, career plans, marriage plans… How many children do you want? Where do you want to live? Where do you want to retire? Our society thrives on planning.

I am currently sitting with my Mom, as she lays peacefully sleeping. Throughout my childhood my Mom was a perfectionist and liked to try to control, what I perceived as, everything. As I now have the ability to reflect, I can clearly see how absolutely busy her life was. She was busy giving of herself to others.

However, my Mom's days were filled with so many tasks, all the while her short term memory was compromised. What a frustrating and aggravating way to proceed through every day. I would get so annoyed (yes, daughter annoyance) with her for not being able to figure out how to do things on her own. How clearly I am able to see now why she was the way she was. My heart has overflowed with compassion for her over the past several months. My Mom has loved me as much as she has always told me. Now I can feel and see that love. Daughter annoyance no longer keeps me from seeing the amazing Mom that she has always been to me.

Throughout her lifetime, she relied on her strong faith and relationship with God. She read her Bible daily, and relied on prayer throughout her days. She always shared her spiritual gift of joy with those she encountered throughout her day. She would often say to me how important it was to smile at others and greet everyone I passed by. She would actually get mad at others when they wouldn’t smile back or respond to her. I saw this as her trying to control others. In reality, she wanted to spread love to each person she encountered.

My Mom has surrendered all control over her life. It has been over these past few months where her smile when I enter her room for a visit has completely connected to me. I am also filled with joy upon seeing her smile, as she lies in bed, unable to do much else. The world had my Mom stretched to her maximum capacity of responsibility. She has nearly completed the race set before her and walked with Christ all the while.

The reason for my Mom’s joy throughout her life, even leading up to her departure, has been her relationship with Christ. She shared that gift with me, and I am eternally grateful. My life has been filled with what some would say were insurmountable challenges. Thankfully I have had Christ with me all the way, and for that reason I live in peace with unspeakable joy.

God sent His Son, Jesus, into this world so that our sins would be forgiven. This was not in our control, just as our inception was not in our control. While walking with Christ, you learn that He is in control, and you learn to surrender to His control. His love is abundant and joy-filled.

“But our citizenship is in heaven.

And we eagerly await a Savior from there,

the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables Him

to bring everything under His control,

will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be

like His glorious body.”

-Phillipians 3: 20-21